How would you improve this poem?


wonderful read!! here, thank you, dave.

these years have taken our feelings , folded them together.
make interesting package!!

there's bows , string, strong ribbons , curly cues

jangly ornaments golden
silver , bronze beliefs
red orbs of glass , mirrors sparkle
in moon light
dangle in sun
reflecting; absorbing tactual sensations

inside survivors guide
first aid kit of words..
offer, take, share...
presence of
dare
stay within box


happy birthday dave
happy new year all!!
stay golden everyone, have years yet,
i'm six,
god willing.

wonderful read!! here, thank you, dave. these years have taken our feelings , folded them together. make interesting package!! there's bows , string, strong ribbons , curly cues jangly ornaments golden silver , bronze beliefs red orbs of glass , mirrors...


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