Would you suggest improvements to this poem please?


cold basin

burgundy stained blouse
changing color of sadness
crimson in fled sunlight
black beneath dim incandescents.
undone bra
removes red wine
brain refused tell
though knew
, burst tears.
set faucet cold
, loud
tinted water splashed
yellow skin.
never wanted hear
word
, pulled stubborn post
close drain.
less reluctantly razor
opened vein
in shockingly cold basin.

cold basin burgundy stained blouse changing color of sadness crimson in fled sunlight black beneath dim incandescents. undone bra removes red wine brain refused tell though knew , burst tears. set faucet cold , loud tinted water splashed her...


Arts & Humanities Poetry Next



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